Day 22 October 22nd 10:21 PM

Food Eaten: Sunflower Seeds, Breakfast Shake, Apples, Large Complex Salad
Quality of Life: God Bless Chopin
Physical Activity Level: Lots of sleep, very little exercise.
Raw Food Percentage: 100

Out of nowhere around the middle of the afternoon today, I had an enormously strong craving for a cigarette. Naturally this had a pretty negative effect on my mood. I still haven't completely shaken it.

What gives? Next to nothing for a month and now all of a sudden it hits like a freight train?

It wasn't just smokes either, it was the whole fast, I wanted it done and finished more than in the whole time I've been on it. Maybe its having the end so near (9 days!), its making it less bearable or enjoyable.

Or I might just be getting a bit sick, flu season's coming and I felt a little off today. Overslept too.
As usual I guess I'll just have to see how I feel tomorrow. I wonder if its the raw food that's causing so many fluctations in my health, the fact that I'm paying so much more attention to it, or the fact that my raw food diet is still unbalanced. Probably all three working in tandem.

Anyhow, when I got home from work I put on one of my roommate's Chopin CDs. It eases the urge to kill.

That Thrive Diet book I read to get ready for this one, while I didn't follow it well enough for it to be real useful to me, did have one interesting thing in it that springs to mind as being applicable to this situation.

It said that its helpful to think of your willpower and resolve as having a finite supply, there's only so much stress you can take after all. Though there is quite a bit, so sometimes its better to have a really bad situation than just a sort of bad one. You'll put up with the bearable one longer than you should whereas you'll immediately cast off the miserable one.

Perhaps the lack of food and booze and cigarettes to relax or distract me is revealing other sources of discontent, making them unbearable. Maybe I'm just missing my soma so I can go back to being satisfied with what I have when I shouldn't be.

Perhaps it is time to consider a career change.